White Roses and Lavender Love
by IssaVaugn
Summary: "Having the courage to be able to admit what you love... enjoying what you love... and being true to yourself... Isn't that also what it means to be strong?" Tamaki has always been in love with Kyoya. Can he take his unrequited secret love anymore, or has his sorry fate finally made him snap? Will he see himself forever as a weak prince, or can the Shadow King save his heart?
1. Sweet Music Falls Like Petals

Tamaki tried to remember when he hadn't thought of Kyoya... like_ this_.

**...**

It had to be around the first time the Shadow King had approached him when he'd first moved to Japan. All alone, a French foreigner. All he had done was say hello and given him a tour of the school. Maybe that's why Tamaki had made the Host club. He needed an excuse to be near this silent, strong dark haired man. At the same time, he wanted to become friends. The club fell into place when he met Hunny and Mori, and a year later the Hitachii twins. His Host club was complete, but he couldn't help but feel empty inside- which was why he threw himself into extravagant things and flirting with the ladies.

Then came Haruhi, a new chapter in his sob story. At first, when he thought Haruhi was a boy, he formulated a plan to make Kyoya jealous by chasing after him. Then, to his utter embarrassment, Haruhi turned out to be a she. But what could he do but continue his charade, even if it killed him every time he pursued the female instead of his love. What lengths he had gone through to throw the other Hosts off his trail, always muttering about Haruhi and complaining, but in his mind he was consumed of thoughts for the youngest Ohtori.

So he came up with Mommy and Daddy. Chasing after Kyoya in his own way. But the Shadow king never batted an eye. Sure Tamaki acted as if he could care less, but inside each dismissive glance from Kyoya, each, "You idiot," from those beautiful lips made him want to collapse within himself. That was around the time his Grandmother started visiting, talking about an engagement to some girl from his hometown. Not knowing anyway out, Tamaki had agreed. If he couldn't have Kyoya he wouldn't ever be happy, but that didn't give him the right to take away this lady's happiness, did it?

So he kept his mouth shut and true feelings hidden, all the while slowly refusing to eat and sleep.

He knew the host club was worried, but he didn't feel like forcing his usually naive and bubbly nature. He sulked, stared off into space, only snapping out of it long enough to complete his host duties before falling back into his blank mood.

**...**

Which was why he could be found here, in Music Room #3, skipping lunch (where he would be expected to torture himself by sitting by Kyoya) to grant himself his only escape: music.

Dropping his books, he loosened his tie and jacket buttons, slipping off his shoes as he padded over to the grand piano.

Running his fingers through his hair, messing the perfectly arranged blonde strands, he placed his fingers lightly on the ivory keys.

The music that flowed out of him when he was like this was never the same- always prompted by his sad mind, the only similarity between all the compositions was the melancholy sadness that each lilting tune held. Losing himself in the music, he never heard the door open and close behind him, nor acknowledged the intruder as he sat on one of the couches.

Tamaki let the song engulf him, he half wished it would eat him all up so he could have peace. The song slowly changed from the sad lullaby to an angry melodic pounding of keys, switching back and forth between the two at random intervals like a bipolar psycho (an accurate simile considering his current state of mind) until with a loud bang he slammed his hands down in one final bittersweet harmony before banging the key-cover down. Standing abruptly, he turned, almost falling over in shock at what- or more accurately who- sat behind him.

Kyoya sat, statue still, for once not taking notes or typing, just listening.  
Dark gray eyes latched on to violet ones, and Tamaki felt himself go red, then pale. Tears threatened to appear, but he wouldn't give in. Slowly, he walked past his Shadow King with careful measured steps, grabbed his books and shoes, and padded out of the room.

Only when he closed the door behind him did he start to break down, shaking like a possessed man, tears trailing down his perfectly sculpted French features, before running through the halls to the front gates of the school- ignoring the worried glances of teachers, the trailing of Host Club attendees and Hosts alike.

He pulled out his cellphone and called the driver at his house, informing him that he was ill and wished to go home. Two minutes later the limousine pulled up and he stumbled inside.

As the car drove away, he swore he saw Kyoya's tall, dark silhouette through one of the upper school windows.

* * *

So the Story managing tab was down on Fanfic when I went on to check my story stats, so I decided to write. When (read if) the error is ever fixed I will upload it... Not feeling to inspired for my other stories right now, I decided to do a new drabble on Kyoya and Tamaki! Its short and angsty, and I don't know right now if I'm gonna keep writing so they can have a happy ending or leave it at this. I love Tamaki, but I always think his idiot act is just that, an act. And who honestly wants Haruhi to end up with a Host? No one. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but at the same time she is like Tohru from Fruits Basket: Necessary but at the same time in the way of every other couple there (like Kyo and Haru! Best shipping ever, but Natsuki Takaya obviously didn't feel the same...) Anyway, I put my phone on shuffle, and the song She Had the World came on, by Panic! At the Disco, which inspired this one-shot.

* * *

*****Update*****

Guys, I just received my first flame. _Ever_! I'm so fucking proud of myself, no really- I am (read this line with dripping sarcasm). To the ** 'Guest' **who left me my review: Yes, I realize that Kyoya and Tamaki in the original manga and anime _were not gay_, nor had any _sexual_ preference for each other. Now can I ask you to pause. Look at the pairing under the description when you clicked on my story. Look again at what site you are on : . Please, get with the program. It's obviously not gonna be like the real storyline because **_I am not the real author. Nor do I write the real story._** I don't wish to treat you like morons, but I have no problem being rude right back. (Really though, I do love that you had guts!) So please, I really do appreciate flames. Just think before you click. If you do not ship what I ship! that's fine. Now allow me to use the ignorant rich white kid excuse 'It's a free country' (at least in America.) So a great shoutout to my first flamer! appreciate you reading the entire story just to tell me everything about it that sucked.

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For those readers who made it through my rant and enjoyed my story, feel free to try and fix my now rotten mood. You've made it this far, you know you wanna click that button! :)

-Issa


	2. A Rose Speaks of Silent Love

_So I worked up the energy to write, but I really wasn't feeling a Black Butler one-shot today. (who am I kidding- I have two ideas, iI just need away more time/motivation to write them.) So then it was a debate on what to write next-something shorter, simpler... This! So I wrote this chapter for you lovely people! Think I'm actually gonna write chapter three really quick and maybe post it too, I'm on a roll tonight! Possibly even work on a ThorXLoki one shot I've been thinking up since - but I am getting ahead of myself. So for now, chapter two. Enjoy!_

* * *

"All I'm saying, Kyoya-senpai is that maybe if you actually paid attention to Tamaki you would realize what's going on!"

Kyoya sat on one of the Host Club couches; it was well past when all the customers had left, and the members had long since cleaned up before sitting down to talk about the Suoh heir.

It was suffice to say, Kyoya was confused. Haruhi had jumped him not long after he had sat down to do his usual extensive paperwork. This was the first time he had seen Haruhi so worked up about something: her obvious passion for Kyoya to visit Tamaki left him confused, not that he allowed any emotion to show on his stone face.

Tamaki. That blonde idiot. That extremely dense, talented, confusing, beautiful, disastrous prince of a boy.

Kyoya never could focus on Tamaki long. The more he pictured the President, the more confusing and conflicted emotions arose within the Shadow King. Kyoya was not one to deal with what he couldn't clearly understand, so when it came to anything concerning Tamaki, he simply didn't dwell on it longer than necessary.

Which, at the present time was extremely hard to do.

What confused him even more than Haruhi's demands that he go visit the blonde boy and talk to him wasn't just the ferocity in which Haruhi persuaded the action. Nor was it that she would not tell him exactly why she needed him to do that, instead looking off to the aide, going slightly red and muttering unintelligible things. No, it was that, for the first time he could ever remember, the twins, Mori, and Hunny were in a deadly serious agreement.

"Come one, Kyo- just go talk to Tono!" Kaoru wheedled.

"It's really, really, really important you do..." Hikaru added.

"Otherwise, the boss may never come back."they both finished.  
Hunny sat curled up on a couch in Mori's lap, not eating anything. The larger man was rubbing circles on the smaller one's back. Hunny looked up at Mori, worried, then at Kyoya.

Kyoya sighed. Sure, it had been a while since Hunny and Mori had officially 'hooked up' as Hikaru might have said, but it was long since expected of the two by Kyoya himself. The way they cared for each other, interacted with the other... Kyoya's only request when they came out about it all was that they keep it private among the student body (to not affect sales incomes, he said) and not do anything to publicly display there affection in front of him(to a reasonable extent: he didn't need Takashi and Mizuka all over each other when Tamaki was, well, being Tamaki.)

"They're all right, Kyo-chan. You have to talk to Tama-chan. He... he needs you."

Kyoya wanted to scoff. Tamaki, need him? That was laughable. The dummy didn't need anyone, not with that personality. Or those eyes... definitely not with such a charismatic being...

"I find that quite hard to believe." he finally said.

"Then don't believe it. Just trust us," Mori piped up, almost causing Kaoru to fall of his current perch on Hikaru's lap.

Honestly, what was it with everyone in this club? With Hunny and Mori, and the twins... Pretty soon the only single, straight people would be him, Haruhi and Tamaki! Kyo almost debated on whether or not they should change their name to the Ouran High Yaoi Club...

But all joking aside, the fact that Mori made it his business to get involved got under Kyoya's skin.

"I think you are all overreacting due to the sudden stressful change of events. Clearly, Tamaki's outburst earlier has affected you all. I personally think he is fine, just worn out, and will come back fully recuperated the next day."

"You aren't listening!" Haruhi stamped her foot. It would almost be comical, Kyoya thought, If not for the anger in her normally calm face. "If it were that simple I wouldn't be bothering you!"

"Well you can stop. I honestly don't see how I can be of any help, it isn't as if I mean _anything_ to Tamaki! So you can stop bugging me about it!" Kyoya snapped. As he realized what he did, he removed his glasses, polishing the lenses on his shirt hem, before putting them back on and turning to his action calmed him down, allowing him to collect his fluttering thoughts.

Hikaru laughed, a big loud foreign sound, almost eerie in the sudden silence. "Man you _really_ don't get it, do you?" he asked, half disbelievingly as he turned his brother to face him in his lap. "Was I really as bad as him? Please tell me I wasn't that oblivious."

Kyoya watched as Kaoru blushed deeply, grabbing Hikaru's hands in his own. "Almost." he said. "But not quite." Hikaru groaned, bringing his face to meet his brother's. "Then it- is my-own -fault. Definitely- my own-almost -loss." Kaoru giggled and blushed at the statement between his brother's kisses. Kyoya felt a heat rise on his own cheeks. What the-?

"Honestly, get a room." Haruhi muttered, before turning to Mori. "At least tell me you guys aren't this bad...?" Mori stayed stoically silent as Hunny giggled.  
Kyoya saw all this through a haze, his mind detached and whirling, processing.

_As oblivious as... Hikaru and Kaoru... That bad... Almost loss?_

"Kyoya-senpai?" Haruhi waved her hand in front of the vice-president, bringing him back to his current situation.

"I-you mean to tell me... _what_?"

Haruhi grinned sheepishly, Hunny Rubbed the back of his head and smiled, and Mori blinked. "That wasn't the exact way we planned on letting you know..."

"You mean you had _planned_ telling me?" Kyoya choked out.

"Of course!" Hikaru piped up from the couch, having wrestled Karou into the folds of his arms. "You know, for someone as smart as you..."

"You really are blind. Tono pretty much has done everything to get your attention except strip you down on a table and do the deed with you."

"Though that would be funny," Hikaru mused. "To finally have some dirt on the elusive Shadow King..."

"Tama-chan really does love you. And I think you love him too, right Kyo?" Hunny noted, staring down Kyoya with his big brown eyes.

"Just _go_." Mori stated.

Kyoya turned to Haruhi, mind reeling.

Did he really love Tamaki? Were those the complicated feelings? Sudden loss of breath, heart pounding, sweaty palms, tightening of pants? And wasn't it supposed to be wrong- to be gay, to love your best friend like that? At that moment, Kyoya answered his own questions. _Yes, Yes Most Likely, who cares?_

Standing, he closed his laptoP and grabbed his bag.

"Kyoya-senpai?" Haruhi questioned.

"I'll see you guys later. I have an idiot to go talk to."

* * *

_Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnd with that chapter, the rating just officially went up! How did you like it? I think I'm gonna keep switching back and forth between Tama and Kyoya's point of views(respectively)- because I like the changes and contrast. Tamaki, in his ill state has less out together, more vague and dreamy short chapters. Kyoya is more sensory, hard facts and longer passages... Just like their personalities... But whatever. I'm having fun with it, and right now that's all I give a damn about. Thanks also to my two commentors from last time- __ Ciefador Grey__ and __RiddledWithWolfstar__! thanks for inspiring me to keep this up, glad you both enjoyed the first chapter- hope you enjoy this one too... Ciao!_


	3. All Roses Have Thorns

_Soooo... not a lot to say before hand, most of my comments will be after this time, so you don't have to waste time reading them... (Not that you do anyways) With love!_

* * *

He didn't deserve this. To be able to wallow in self pity like this. He didn't deserve to feel like his heart had been incinerated by the shadow king. Because, really, who could love a filthy half breed?

Tamaki was found by a few maids passed out in the garden where he had fled to after school, blood pressure dangerously low.

Panic ensued, as he lay unconsciously in the arms of one of the maids; like a sleeping beauty story in reverse. The doctor was called, along with several physicians, Tamaki's grandmother was never far behind the group, her presence like a shadow.

He refused to follow his private family doctor's orders, not accepting medicine or I.V. drips. He simply lay there, fingers tracing patterns on his bedsheets. His grandmother, furious, told him to keep it up if he wished to never see his mother again. Tamaki didn't move. His father simply couldn't be bothered to deal with his mistake son- but Tamaki was used to such treatment, almost expected it to happen. Just a few hours later, all the doctors had been set up in the many extra guest rooms of the mansion at his grandmother's insistence. Better for them to be close and have nothing serious happen then to send them away, only to have him die of a cardiac arrest or something equally awful.

So here Tamaki lay beneath a heap of blankets while the dusk descended like another sweltering quilt upon the world outside. His hands, still moving in the same patterns, traced out the same movements he had been doing when he'd awoken in his bed.

_Kyoya. Kyoya Oohtori._

With each deep breath he took, the world spun. _Why was it always spinning? _Tamaki only felt this light headed when Kyoya was around. He took a shallow breath, a painful breath. All he'd done was played his song. Kyo's song. And the Shadow King had heard it. Why hadn't he said anything?

Tamaki berated himself, a few tears slipping through his lashes. He hadn't been rejected, Kyoya probably didn't even know what the hell was going on. _Why_ didn't he know- did he even want him to know?

Kyoya was like a rose, Tamaki realized. A beautiful thing to look at, but when grabbed at too harshly, you were stabbed by the thorns. And when you really peeled back all the pretty petals, it was empty inside. Your only prize was the blood running down your fingers, the hollowed victory of the sweet smelling bruised petals.

Tamaki tossed his head to the side, and the world spun around him. Why was everything always changing, _always moving?_ Maybe Tamaki himself was the rose. But then he wouldn't be mangled, because Kyoya would never pick him.  
Sweat ran down his face in rivulets, his hair felt like it was trying to rip apart his head.

The blankets were pressing down on him. They were going to smother him beneath their downy weight. Wait, but now they were saving him, protecting him from the icy world. His body and mind couldn't decide which version of his fate was being decided, his body twisted and writhed, limbs flailing and catching on sheets. Pillows slammed into his head- or he into they? Perhaps, if he asked kindly enough, they would split down the middle and swallow him whole.

A broken heart should not hurt this bad, he decided. It was better to never see a rose, than to have the memories of beautiful torture arise with every glance.

Just as Tamaki felt like nothing could ever simply be-

A soft, strong hand smoothed his hair from his forehead. A wet cloth was rubbed along his flushed cheeks, loving fingers brushed away his tears and tidied his pillows. The hands, dancing, straightened out the twisted blankets, smoothing out the wrinkles as if to ease away the nightmares. The pristine hands were back on his face, stroking and murmuring. There was a voice attached to those hands, but in his hazy state that was as far as he could comprehend. He slowly lifted his eyes, the focus and effort grinding against his brain. _An arm. A shirtsleeve- the a collar. A jaw, lips...eyes._

Piece by piece, Tamaki pictured together the beautiful puzzle before him.

"I thought I'd never see you again," he whispered in a raw voice.

* * *

_Aaaaaaannnnnddd , because I love you(or maybe im just too lazy) **a cliffhanger!** Who is Tamaki's puzzle? Not revealing anything- but Kyoya is and isn't an answer... hmm. Getting interesting, huh? Loved the Guest who decided to make my day and give me **two** comments. Seriously, love you. Give the __Guest__ a prize. Plus, my next chapter on His Butler, One Hell of A Lover went over fairly well, judging by the new influx of comments! Plus, I kicked track in the ass today on our 300 workout... im on top of the world, and about to pass out from fatigue. But I had to get this to you first, hope you enjoyed it! LYL- (no really) 3 Issa_


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